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Pizza duel inconclusive

A duel between judges in the five best things ever awards ended inconclusively when the combatants ran out of pizza.

Lord Wellington challenged fellow judge Hugo Iurwaii to a pizza hurling duel to the death in a bid to settle the deadlock over the five best things.

Nightwear magnate Hugo Iurwaii remains adamant that jam, pyjamas, cheese, bees, and peas should be the five best things while Lord Wellington is entrenched in his view that dark horses, wellies, tall pies, quiche fights and grit should win. 

At dawn this morning, the two met on Catford Marshes and began throwing pizzas at each from a distance of 70 metres. After two hours neither had scored a hit but both had run out of pizzas.

Mr Iurwaii wants to declare the duel a draw while Lord Wellington believes it should resume tomorrow morning with fresh supplies of pizza. This started a new disagreement during which Lord Wellington challenged Mr Iurwaii to a second duel to settle how the first duel should be finished.

The matter has now been referred to the High Court in Bunting Houndsby where it will be decided whether either duel is legal, and if so whether the two duels should be held sequentially or concurrently.


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