The government is to tax stress in a bid to make us all healthier. The tax will work on a sliding scale, so that those who are most stressed will be at the highest tax level.
Using state-of-the-art technology, people will be fitted with stress sensors linked via the internet to their bank accounts. As their stress levels rise above the threshold, they will automatically and instantly be charged in the appropriate tax band.
We believe this will have a hugely beneficial effect, said Health Minister Andrum Fearmongerly. People who are experiencing stress will be able to look at their bank accounts via a web portal. As they see their money draining away, this will incentivise them to become less stressed and hence their health will improve.