- Teens in Wackfactor Natwack have used a 3D printer to print a printer. The printer they have printed will be used to print more printers.
- Some zebras are sporting horizontal stripes this season claiming they are slimming. This has sparked road-safety fears.
- Pillar boxes in Catford Sidings are to be painted yellow and bent slightly as part of the celebrations for British Banana Week.
- Parts of Wales are under several feet of rock tonight after being declared "hilly". Ancient geological activity is being blamed.
- More than 82.4% of zigs are followed by a zag, research by the Institute of Things has revealed. No-one knows why.
- Plans to make cheese rolling safer by replacing the cheese with howitzers have been branded as lunacy by Gloucester police.
- Airlines are to improve the flavour of tea at altitude by adding sponge fingers. This will also make the tea safer during turbulence.
The European Union wants to redesignate certain British jam as paint after it was found to contain mostly colouring and paint. The Aesthetic Jam Co says the only way to get jam to tone perfectly with people's kitchen colour schemes is to add quantities of paint. People who demand beige jam to match their kitchen have to expect a little variation in the recipe, said Jim Spread of the Aesthetic Jam Co. The Aesthetic Jam Co admits jam made mostly from paint is likely to taste a little painty. Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash