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Cheesy lip risk

Women who make their lips look fuller by pumping them full of brie have a higher risk of idiocy, according to new research.

It is not clear whether these women are predisposed to idiocy and this is what makes them want to pump their lips full of brie, said Prof Ane Statement who carried out the research, or whether it is the brie that is making them stupid.

But Dame Piley Barabakanok of the Society of Cheese-related Glamour rubbished the research. This takes no account, she said, of the advantages of giant, brie-filled lips. They could save your life, for example, if you were involved in a high-speed collision.

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