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Massive cheese spill

Some parts of Catford Sidings had to be cordoned off last night after a massive cheese spill.

A lorry carrying 34 tonnes of liquid cheese struck a garden ornament and veered through the main shopping area before tipping over and spilling its load.

It is not known what type of garden ornament was involved. It is believed the driver of the lorry was distracted by a large bill-board advertisement for tea cozies.

Thousands of mice have been helicoptered in from all over the country to deal with the cheese and cats have been asked to stay away. Police believe it will be 11am at the earliest before normal shopping can resume. 

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