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Queen Hurrid: a clarification

When we predicted that Queen Hurrid of Swydun would marry a badger in our Predictions for 2012 we in no way meant to imply that Queen Hurrid is only attractive to badgers.

We are quite happy to make it clear that we believe Queen Hurrid is capable of attracting a wide range of woodland and other creatures.

Although our predictions are based on cutting-edge, state-of-the-art prediction technology, we are happy to accept that other outcomes for the Queen's romantic future are theoretically possible.

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News roundup may be fake ministers claim

A roundup of today's fake news may itself be fake, the government has claimed. Judge for yourself:

Kilmarnock in Scotland is to be renamed Markilnock, it has been announced. It was time for a change, said Mayor Jock Weaslepants.

Stationery traffic in Catford Sidings is up to 12 long reams after a mad origamist escaped from the paper mill.

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Fish incident leads to suspension

Nonsense News's Barfity Fargstring has been suspended after allegations she hit Eunice Pewness with a halibut.

The alleged incident allegedly occured just after then end of the alleged lunchtime news. Ms Fargstring had been spotted entering the Nonsense Newscasting building with a fish-shaped bag but denies that it actually contained a fish.

Ms Pewness was briefly stunned into silence following the event but was broadcasting again in time for the early evening news despite a few fish scales being apparent on the side of her head.