Following news that foreign powers are using cheese to spy on people, IJN's security correspondent Vim Bulpimple suggests ways you can avoid being caught out.
- Check your cheese to see if it makes any clicks or hissing noises. If it does, it may be recording your conversations.
- Is there a circular piece of glass in one side of your cheese? If so, it may be concealing a camera.
- If your cheese is ticking, that's a bad sign. It may be hiding an explosive device.
- Quite suddenly, ask your cheese a question in Russian. If it responds then you know it speaks the language.
- When you are out shopping, quickly turn around and look behind you. If your cheese is there in the street, it may be following you.
- If you find your cheese attached to a USB socket on your computer, it may be hacking your data.
- Does your cheese sneak into the attic and tap out Morse code on an old radio? If so, it may be reporting to Moscow.