In an age where lips are gaining increasing importance, beauty editor Eunice Indatcoat reports on seven ways you can improve yours*.
- Replace them with wedges of Edam.
- Exercise by regular gurning.
- Apply a daily dose of creosote for freshness.
- Rub them down with goose fat twice yearly.
- Eat only rubberised canoes.
- Smack yourself in the face with a frying pan once a week.
- Stick mange toutes in your ears.
*Note: applying all seven of these tips may, in some instances, lead to baldness or infertility.