Seventy five live-changing opportunities have been assembled just for you by the team at the International Journal of Nonsense:
- Scientists working frantically at the Institute of Things in Groosumville, Arizona have discovered a link between jam and toast. It's butter.
- The Bank of Nonsense has accidentally put all its money in the washing machine and says many of the notes are ruined. An inquiry is expected.
- Scientists looking into why sometimes things go wrong say that often someone is to blame. Usually it is a different person each time.
- Maps for a number of sat navs erroneously have routes to Apollo Street, Pewford Ponds going round the moon twice. This makes some journey times incorrect.
- Mercedes Benz have genetically modified a giant bee so that it will carry five people in comfort. It is to be the new B-class.
- Up to 20% of fish are cheating on their partners according to new research by http://divorce-a-fish.com. 14% of these are haddock.
- An earlier report advertising an evening with The Jim Douche Bagpipe Band should, of course, have referred to The Jim Douchebag Pipe Band.
- The Church of the Discarded Sporran is trying to block a Hollywood movie based on the life of its founder, Tufty the Safety Squirrel.
- The internet is to get new addressing based on the Dewey decimal system. Websites will now be stored on wooden shelves.
- The National Trust has imported Polar bears into Somerset and painted them with a black stripe in a move designed to annoy badgers.
Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash