Our top 7 ways to reintroduce extinct species is an environmental infographic sponsored by our partners Sidings Sludge for all your decimated wetland needs.
- A small bear has become unaccountably stuck in a tree used for storage by Sidings Honey Ltd. The fire brigade have been called.
- Almost 42% of tigers use *grrroar* as the password on their voicemails, 15% use *bouncy* and 5% use "frosties".
- Matvian impresario Vladamir Tukmahedov is to produce a seven-hour musical based on the British weather for the the Farapma Opera House. One critic commented: I expect it will be drizzle.
- Researchers have discovered a Mayan tablet which says everything will end on 21 Dec 2012 is actually a South Erst Trains press release.
- A new fish and chip shop only for those who went to school at Eton will be called Know your plaice. A new fish and chip shop for those who received a comprehensive education will be called Cod do batter.
- A top supermarket has apologised over its green energy hamster-wheel project when it emerged some of the hamsters were using mopeds.
- This year's International Cheese Jamboree (the 15th) will see a ton of brie fired 4 miles into the air. Planning permission has been sought.